In the land of the sighted, the blind man can still become king

A couple of years ago I wanted to find a running partner.  Someone to help me pass the miles as the concrete moved below my feet.  I started sending out emails and reached out into the community.  A couple of days after my search started I got a response from a guy named Phil.  Phil stated that he wasn’t a runner, and in fact had never really run but was definitely interested in starting.  Sounded good to me, so I emailed him back and we decided to meet up about two weeks later.  Little did I know at the time but this guy Phil, would have a tremendous impact on my life.

Now I’ve run for years and years and I have always run by myself.  So this was my first time ever running with a partner.  I’ve used running as kind of my meditation time, my time to figure out the ins and outs of my life.  Just me and the open road listening to the sound of my feet hitting the road and entertaining whatever thoughts wanted to pass through my head.

I was excited about trying something new, but was also a little nervous to see if my new partner and I would be compatible.  So on the day of our first run Phil and I exchanged pleasantries and started running.  The run got off to a little bit of a rocky start as we tried to figure out each other’s pace, and I was a little worried, but then we started talking and everything changed.  I found out that running with someone was actually magical, or at least it was magical running with Phil.  Since Phil was new to running he still needed time to build up his stamina and we wound up walking more than we ran that first day.   Regardless, I knew I had just found my new running partner.

Three years have passed since that first run/walk and we have logged hundreds of miles together.  But more importantly than our running is that we have become great friends.  In fact Phil has become one of my dearest and closest friends and has also become one of the great inspirations in my life.

He is that guy that seems able to do everything.  From the second you meet him you know you like him, and his personality often makes him the center of attention.  He’s always cracking jokes and seems to have an arsenal of one-liners ready to be tossed out at just the right moment.  He is one of the most positive people I know and seems able to shine a light on even the most difficult challenges that life throws at him or you.  Phil spends his days teaching disabled youth, and just launched his own business.  He has been a healthcare administrator, appointed by the Governor to work on various task forces, and has sat on the board of directors for several charities, and over the years has even become somewhat of a celebrity around town.  If that isn’t enough he can now run much farther than I can, and just won a snow skiing race in Colorado, after skiing for the first time just last year.  Yes Phil is the total package, and there is little that it seems that he can’t do and do well.

But Phil’s most endearing quality, the one that trumps all the rest, and the one that has inspired me to look differently at my life is his passion to celebrate life.  You see Phil does all of these things while being completely blind.

Phil has had poor vision his entire life but did not go completely blind until he turned 40.  The crazy part (and what makes Phil Phil) is that he often says that going completely blind was the best thing that has happened to him.  What?!!  Yes it’s true going completely blind was a changing point in Phil’s life…..for the better!  The way Phil explains it is that he lived the first 40 years fearing that he would go blind.  Understandably, doing everything he possibly could to delay the inevitable.  Having surgery after surgery, and avoiding any type of physical activity to make sure he didn’t have an accident that would take what vision he had left.  His life was dictated by fear, but when the day eventually came when he would see no more, he suddenly realized that he no longer had a reason to be scared.  Phil had to ask himself “what do you do when your greatest fear comes true?”, and his answer was to celebrate life in the grandest fashion possible!  To celebrate who he was and who he was to become.  To start doing all of those things that he had put off doing for so long.  To start running, riding bikes, snow skiing, launching his own business, and whatever else he had added to his wish list over the years.  His greatest fear amazingly seemed to open the door to a new way to look at life.

Phil at his 7 year celebration

If you spend any time at all with Phil, you clearly see that his life is not easy.  Being completely blind in a sighted world is tough.  Very tough.  But last night Phil celebrated his 7^th anniversary of being completely blind (yes you read that right, he CELEBRATED the anniversary).  In fact he did this in typical Phil fashion by throwing a party called “Highballs and Eyeballs”.  The party was filled with stories and lots of laughter, and instead of focusing on Phil’s disability, it quickly became a celebration of all the things that are possible, of all the things that Phil has taught us, just by being Phil.

Our relationship originally started with me as the running guide and Phil as the willing new participant.  We would each hold on to one end of an 18 inch rope and set out for our run.  Phil would put complete trust in me that I would tug the rope at the right time or give him directions to keep him safe.  Having never done this before, Phil would pepper me with questions like “Where do my hands go when we run?”  “How am I supposed to do this and breathe at the same time?”  “Are we jogging or sprinting?”  I was literally teaching Phil how to run, but as so often happens in these situations, the teacher soon transitioned to the role of the student, and Phil started to teach me about life.

His blindness has forced me to look at disablities from a different perspective.  For disabilities are simply those things that “dis-able”us from doing something.  And as I looked closely at myself I realized that I had disabilities of my own.  Mine are not necessarily external, and as obvious as Phil’s, but they are certainly there.  They are often disguised as fear and take shape through my various thoughts and ideas.  My fears are microscopic in comparison to the ones that Phil has faced, however at various times they have still paralyzed me from trying or doing new things.   But as I spend more and more time with Phil, I learn that it is not until we face our fears head on, that we are able to truly celebrate life.  For it is only during the celebration that the disability disappears and becomes your greatest asset toward living the life that you want.

Phil you are absolutely incredible and I want to thank you for being my friend and for all the lessons you have taught me along the way.

Snubbed by the Oscars (again)

Last Sunday I sat down with great anticipation to watch the Oscars.  I was pretty nervous, my hands were a little sweaty and I had butterflies doing backflips in my stomach.  I couldn’t believe the day had finally arrived.  I was finally going to win an Oscar for Best Original Screenplay.  I had dreamed about this day so many times.  I wondered how heavy the trophy was, how many steps it would take me to get to the stage, how many people I would hi-five along the way.  I ran it over and over in my head.

 

I was a little surprised when Sunday arrived and we still hadn’t received our official invitation from the Academy to attend the awards show.  I figured this was a minor glitch and I would probably have to accept my award “via satellite”.  I wasn’t exactly sure how “via satellite” worked but was confident that my iPhone had an app for that.  Instead of focusing on these minor details, I turned my attention to writing and re-writing my acceptance speech. Should I be funny or be serious?  There were so many people to thank and so little time.  I wanted to make sure I didn’t forget anyone and at the same time knew the “get off the stage” music would come quickly.

 

The show started and my nerves started to kick into overdrive.  Little beads of sweat started to gather on my forehead and trickle down the side of my face.  My palms sweating so much I was scared it would smear the ink on my speech.  I would have to remember to laminate it next year.

 

And then everything stopped!   It hit me like a bolt of lightening right between the eyes!  I can’t remember the exact moment but it was somewhere between Melissa Leo dropping the “F-bomb” and the Sound Editing award.  I snapped back to reality and realized that I wouldn’t be winning an award.  I wouldn’t win Best Original Screenplay.  I wouldn’t be giving my acceptance speech.  And the reason why?

 

Well there were thousands of reasons why, but the most blatantly obvious one was that I hadn’t written a movie.  In fact in all honesty I’ve never even tried to write a movie, or anything even close to a movie.  It felt silly to me now that I had amazingly overlooked what seemed at the moment to be a very important detail.

 

Now with all of that being said, I have dreamed of writing a movie millions of times.  I have been a HUGE movie lover ever since I can remember, and I love every aspect of the movies from the acting, to the soundtrack, to the credits, to the dark theater, to the smell of popcorn around every corner.  But most of all I love the creativity (even for bad movies).  I love the fact that someone had to sit down and write out their ideas and then those ideas came to life on screen for all of us to see.

 

I have spent countless hours in my car coming up with different movie plots, and a couple of years ago I even started keeping a notebook with all my ideas.   There are now about 50 ideas in my notebook and most are pretty bad but a couple could be pretty good.  So as I sat there on my sofa that Sunday night and watched David Seidler win my award (Best Original Screenplay for The King’s Speech –great movie if you haven’t seen it), I had to ask myself why this was a dream I had never pursued.  I obviously “wanted” to write a movie, but still had never done anything about it.  In asking the question I seemed to be hit with two answers, two answers that seemed to explain why sometimes dreams stay as dreams and never make their way to our reality.

 

Fragile Package – Handle with great care - Dreams are these amazing things that give us the capability to pursue our highest selves.  They allow us to see what we could be and what we could do.  And while dreams hold these amazing powers, they are also tremendously fragile and need great care to see the light of day.   So in order to effectively care for your dream, you have to give it attention everyday.  You have to add detail to that dream and you do this by taking little baby steps.  For with each baby step, a new sight or sound or color is added to the picture in your head and helps bring it to life.  Suddenly a hazy image starts to become clear, and you can see the trees swaying in the wind and you can hear the birds singing as they fly through the sky.  But not only do you have to add more detail to your dream, but you also have to hold onto it as tightly as you can.  I imagine dreams to be like helium balloons, and once your grasp loosens just a little bit they seem to float away.  For just as easily as you can imagine one dream you can imagine another one to take it’s place.

Over my life I have realized several dreams and I have also had the chance to be around a number of people that have fulfilled some of theirs too (as I’m sure you have also).  Those dreams, no matter how grand, came to be because they were nurtured and held as close as a newborn baby.  Despite the obstacles that were presented they kept adding to that picture in their head, and never let go of the idea that it would come true.  That’s it!  Nothing more, nothing less.

When I relate that idea to why I haven’t taken the chance on writing a movie, I see that I haven’t nurtured the dream at all.  I have used it for entertainment value, to help pass the time in the car.  Similar to playing the game “What would I do if I won the lottery?”.  The idea of actually writing a movie is an outlandish dream for me.  Something too big to actually grasp, and so whenever the dream would grow just a little bit, it would often be let go and replaced by another dream.   Another dream that I could see the details just a little easier.

 

The destruction of Practicality -  As a child we are encouraged to dream big dreams.  To think of the biggest thing that we can imagine and then multiply it to be 10,000 times greater.  We are often told by adults that we can be whatever we want to be.  We are told that nothing is impossible.  I truly believe all of these things with every fiber of my being and actually tell my kids the exact same things (see previous post).

However as I’ve gotten older I see that in order to fulfill these dreams you will have to face new enemy, a truly destructive beast, that goes by the name of Practicality.

Kids aren’t practical at all.  They want ice cream for breakfast and want to go swimming when it’s snowing outside.  Not being practical is one of the great things that makes kids kids.  But along with growing up often comes more responsibility and as soon as responsibility enters your life, you quickly learn the concept of practicality.  Now making practical decisions certainly has it’s place and value in your life however when it comes to fulfilling dreams it can stop them dead in their tracks.  Practicality is often used in society as a term to denote making a responsible decision, however I think a better definition (especially when applied to dreams) is predictability.  We often make decisions based off of our past experiences and therefore can better predict what the outcome will be. The amazing thing about dreams though is that they are usually things that we have never done before, things that we have never experienced.  So therefore it is hard to make practical (predictable) decisions about these things.

I have no basis for writing a movie because I’ve never done it before.   Therefore it seems very impractical for me to pursue this because I have no prior experience.  Now there are approximately 2,500 movies produced each year (more than 6 scripts a day), and who knows how many more scripts are written and never produced.  So the actual idea of writing a movie is not that crazy, as people literally do it every single day, it just doesn’t register with my reference points.  My practical thinking therefore works everyday to loosen my grip on this dream, and often wins.

The easiest way to defeat practicality though is simply to take baby steps and therefore increase your circle of predictable options.  If I look at my dream of writing a movie, that simply means I actually have to start….well, writing a movie.   Just do this and bing, bang, boom I have a new circle of practicality.   Practicality is no longer working against me, but helping to protect and nurture that dream.

 

 

Writing a movie is one of the things on my bucket list.  It is one of those things that I have really wanted to do, but was more comfortable dreaming about it then actually doing it.  After watching the Oscars on that Sunday night, I thought it was time to move forward with this dream.  Shortly after the show ended I entered a script writing contest for a small show that is broadcast on the internet.  The script could only be 5 pages in length, and it took me all of an hour to write it.  The chances of winning the contest are next to nothing, but what it provided me was far greater than any prize I would receive.  For in that hour of writing I added a couple more colors to that dream in my head, and gave my best Heisman pose to the impending army of practicality.

 

A Letter to my kids (and to you too)

Dear Patrick, Will, and Reid,

Have you ever dreamed of building a city that’s made with trampoline streets,

or inventing vegetables that taste like delicious chocolate sweets?

Have you ever thought of teaching karate to a school of jellyfishes,

or maybe sailing around on boat made of pizza, has been one of your life wishes?

Well this may surprise you, but you can do all of those things and so much much more!!

And this you should know, and know it for sure

from your head to your toes, and right through to your core.

You see you have the power of LIFE, and LIFE is the most incredibly stupendously ridiculous thing,

For it lets you be and do absolutely ANYTHING!!

In fact, truth be told, LIFE is the most amazing Super Power of them ALL!

Now you may not be able to fly through the air, or smash through a brick wall.

But to be honest that doesn’t really matter,

because the power you have been given is ten million times grander.

For you have the ability to create your life in the shape or form that fits you best,

and with this Super Power you are so unbelievably blessed.

You can choose to be,

a Donut dipper, a cartwheel flipper, an omelet tosser, or a bbq saucer

a maker, a taker, a peaker, a tweaker, or maybe a rainbow seeker

an ice creamer, a jelly beaner, madder, gladder, or an in-betweener ,

a tricker, a treater, a cryer, a laugher, or even a wild giraffer

Yes you can move in any direction you choose,

and with that kind of power it would seem hard to lose.

The Life you create is absolutely limitless!

But sometimes, yes sometimes,

so much freedom can actually feel like quite a mess.

And in those times it will be hard to decide who to be,

or what to do,

or where to see.

Sometimes you’ll be afraid and won’t want to make a decision,

and when that happens you’ll start to hear a lot of other people’s opinions.

With all the advice you hear and options to juggle,

making the right choice can sometimes be a real struggle.

So here is a secret that is greater than all of the rest,

and can help you to harness your Super Powers to make them the very best.

Whenever you cross this hurdle, no matter how old you are, or what you’re facing, the best place to start,

is by getting really really quiet and listening to your heart.

You see there is a voice inside all of us that always knows which path to take

and when we stop and follow it’s advice, you’ll know what decision to make.

Now listening to your heart, does not always put you on the easiest track,

and occasionally, can feel like riding blindfolded on a rhinoceros’ back.

But even with all the challenges and obstacles that you will encounter, there will never be a reason to complain,

because following your heart will fill your life with love, and passion, and other feelings that are hard to explain.

So if you ever start to panic, and want to sound the siren,

listen to your heart because it can amazingly see past today’s horizon.

When you trust in your heart, you give the world a great gift, a gift that will certainly ring true,

for it is the gift of being the most amazing you!

It makes the stars shine brighter, the grass grow greener,

and will inspire others to follow their hearts too!

So use your Super Powers to create the most incredible LIFE

Use them to see whatever you want to see,

use them to do whatever you want to do,

but most importantly, use them to be whoever you want to be.

I Love You!

Dad

 

© Copyright 2011 Rich Scott